Being a mom is the most frustrating, rewarding and heartbreaking things I have have ever had the honour of being. I had my first daughter when I was twenty one and I never looked back, to be honest I had never really wanted children of my own but the first time I held her in my arms I realised that I would never be the same again, that my heart would never be my own, it would always belong to her. When I fell pregnant with my second daughter the panic set in … How would I love her as much as I loved the first one, would there be enough love to go around? I shouldn’t have been quite as concerned as I was; my heart seemed to grow and she fitted in perfectly. By the time my little Laat Lammetjie arrived there was no fear about loving her, just an all encompassing excitement about how much more love I could give my three beautiful daughters.
As they grew into teenagers I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, the teenage crap I would have to face … the rebellion, the drugs and the sex. . Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t angels but they certainly didn’t act out too badly, in fact at one stage my second daughter was misbehaving and I eventually grounded her – She wasn’t allowed to go to Youth for two weeks – when my youngest misbehaved, I took away her books and that seemed to work. Yes there were ups and downs and when my eldest went to Uni she certainly let her hair down but nothing I couldn’t handle.
I think the hardest part about being a mom is when your children are hurting, when you can see that what their choices in life are just not going to work. As a mom you can give them advice but you have to allow them to live their lives and be there to catch them when they fall. That is what being a mom is all about.
The times when they put their arms around me and say “I love you Mom” those are the good times. The first time I held my Granddaughter in my arms … I can’t describe the love I felt for all my daughters, if I hadn’t been a mom I would never have experienced this little creature who is a combination of all my little girls.
All in all I wouldn’t change a thing about being a mom, the ups, the downs and the downright shitty times make us family and I’m okay with with that.
Have a very happy Mother’s Day M’Dears