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In my previous post on The Goddess Array, I shared some of the things that would serve all lovers of women very well. This is part 2 on the subject, and my final post as a review of the book Vagina, by Naomi Wolf. (If you missed the others, here they are: the first and the second.) Let’s look at further ways in which women can be supported into to enter that beautiful altered state where they can experience massive orgasmic potential. (And be generally well-loved and well adjusted people – sexual satisfaction correlates with satisfaction in many other ‘unrelated’ areas of women’s lives.)
“Find her ‘Sacred Spot’, Then Hang out there Far Longer Than You Think Reasonable”: It is true, women take on average 4 times longer to climax than men, and this is one of those places where women can’t really be expected to adapt to men. The trick is to find the right kind of stimulation. Women have two sexual centers – the g-spot, and the clitoris, and stimulation that combines these two, and other kinds of stimulation, goes a long way in improving the success rate for orgasm. Do some research, find out where to locate her g-spot if you are not sure. By the way -did you know that the g-spot is actually a part of the clitoris? What we see on the outside is merely the tip of an amazing organ. An organ which sole purpose is that of pleasure! Here is a picture for you to get a better idea of the internal structure of the clitoris:
So make it a fun and playful exploration, and find out what kind of touch gives her the most pleasure. And take your time while letting her know that there is now rush for her to get anywhere at all, that there is no end goal. Invite her to simply feel, to simply be aware of sensation.
“Tell Her She’s Beautiful”: Wolf says “Because of the role of the ANS (autonomic nervous system) in female sexual response, to release completely into a sexual trance state, a woman must, to a certain degree, feel permitted to indulge in a kind of self-absorption that can feel to contemporary women like narcissism; she must feel unself-concious… …that is easier if a woman feels admired and cherished, which is where ‘You are so beautiful’ comes in.” You could even, if you can, address her as ‘Goddess’, or address the Goddess in her. Goddesses are powerful and held in reverence, they have no need to doubt themselves or their value or allure – they can permit themselves to go on the trance journey inwards. “And Goddesses are entitled, without anxiety or guilt or self-reproach, to high levels of attention and pleasure.”
Another tool in the Goddess Array – “Don’t Be Scary, But Don’t Be Boring”: Basically – women have to feel really safe with their partners in order to surrender to love making and dropping into that dreamy altered state of consciousness, AND women love a bit of danger, of adrenaline, of excitement – so be a little bit unpredictable, change things up a bit, play into the bad boy archetype and never give up on your role of seducer. Both these aspects are there to provoke her to get all her “complex and continually shifting carnal and evolutionary needs met.”
“Do Whatever She Likes To Her Nipples”: Nipple stimulation releases oxytocin – the hormone that supports a sense of well being, of love and trust. The chemical response that it creates makes women feel relaxed and affectionate, bonded to her lover.
And lastly – “Ejaculate”: Women may feel differently about a man when they receive his ejaculate during lovemaking. Ejaculate stimulates more parts of a woman’s vagina and cervix than with penile thrusting alone, and a woman actually ingests the sugar in ejaculate through her vaginal walls. Semen contains hormones with potential mind-altering abilities and can be absorbed into a woman’s bloodstream. According to Wolfe, many women reported to her that they felt differently about a man after making love with ejaculation, feeling closer to him, more satisfied, and much less bothered by little things that annoyed them before.
This was a very brief overview of this wonderful book, which I would wholeheartedly recommend you to read. I am eternally grateful to people like Naomi Wolf for bringing this kind of information to a broad audience, I think it is vital that we are all informed about sexuality.