Sex Positions To AVOID this Valentine’s Day!

Sex Positions To AVOID this Valentine's Day!

Sex Positions To AVOID this Valentine’s Day!

Well, normally I am just full of advise on Great Sex Positions that I think should not be missed…but alas today…I am preaching in reverse…I recommend avoiding these Sex Positions this Valentines Day and in fact on any other normal day as well! Other than the fact that they look almost physically impossible to get into and in some cases downright dangerous to perform you would also need the core strength & flexibility of an Olympic Gymnast  to even stand a chance (missing a rib or three might come in handy too) and I haven’t seen “A Dummies Guide to Becoming an Olympic Gymnast Overnight” in stores as yet! So wait no longer…and heed my below warnings….

“Drop Me and I’ll Sue”
The name says it all (nothing like an imminent threat to kill the romance) but personally I was thinking…hmm, I would need to get up there first before I even worry about being dropped!
The Supposed How-To:
Her lying on her back, he bends down to position himself, they lock thighs together and hold each other for support, he then stands up straight and she attempts to hold her body at a 90-degree angle…ha ha…basically the “planking-of-bonking”, because working those muscles apparently takes preference to any form of pleasure!
My How-To: Run, run, run away and never look back!!

“Drop Me and I’ll Sue”

“Drop Me and I’ll Sue”

“The Boot Licker”
Again a lovely romantic (and visually endearing…NOT) name to this position…and I must admit…it did cross my mind what the hell my butt would look like doing this!
The Supposed How-To:
Him and her lying on their sides, head to feet. She places her left leg over his waist, he keeps his left leg straight and puts his right leg under her butt. Then gyrate at will.
My How-To: If you are up for a good laugh from sheer awkwardness alone then continue as directed above…for the others…run, run, run away and never look back!!

“The Boot Licker”

“The Boot Licker”

 

 

 

by Yogini Brenda

Yogini Brenda is a Tantra Teacher that is based at the Parkhurst Branch. Her passion is to assist women, men and teens with all sexual, marriage and relationship matters. In reality she dances in meditation, and from the eye she swings from chandeliers.

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